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The Federal Reserve is holding its annual conference, and Chairman Ben Bernanke is doing a fast two-step. The anti-inflation hawks know very well that the massive overhang of liquidity the Fed has pumped into the economy, first to keep it alive during the Bush Administration, and now to keep it from rotting under the Obama Administration, will sooner or later come back as a price spiral like none we've seen in decades. On the other side are all the howlers pounding their fists for the Fed to crank up the money-printing engine to keep the economy from going into total zombie mode. The Fed has dug its own grave, and now Uncle Bennie has to live with the consequences of years of irresponsible monetary policy that has coddled years of irresponsible federal taxation and spending decisions.

Never mind all of that, though. Speaking as an unforgiving, ill-tempered economist who has a darned good track record when it comes to doom and gloom predictions about economic matters, I have some simple advice for the Mr. Bernanke about that conference the Fed is conducting right now:

Mr. Bernanke, your institution is sponsoring the annual Fed conference in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, a really upscale mountain resort favored by fancy people with lots of money and too much time on their hands spent in out-of-the-way mountain resorts. I passed through Jackson Hole once. It was ridiculously arduous getting there in the kind of car I drive, everything was obscenely expensive, and the town was nothing but a compressed mish-mash of ludicrously fancy shops, salons, restaurants, and assorted other businesses that no normal person should spend money patronizing.

Ben, you and your fellow Federal Reserve people have no business being there spending public money on such lavish excess.

Right down the street from where I live are some excellent, big, cheap hotels. The Motel 6 could handle all you Fed people and a bunch of slavish reporters, as well. Right across the street is an all-night Denny's restaurant where you could eat, talk, and make important decisions over Grand Slam breakfasts and nightly burgers. Nearby is a Walmart and a Dollar Tree where you and your people could get souvenirs. And if you're into that kind of thing, there's a huge truck stop less than a mile away, out by the interstate, where you could hook up with some skinny lot lizards who'd be quite impressed with your credentials, if not your more southerly endowments.

Next year, Ben, call me. I'll take care of all the arrangements, here. I'll even talk to the graveyard shift manager at Denny's (he's a former student of mine) to make sure you get the royal treatment. Ditto for the girls at the truck stop (who aren't former students of mine, at least to my knowledge).

I'll be waiting for your call, Ben.

Sincerely,
Dark Wraith

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About the Publisher

Your host of this Weblog is an award-winning college teacher and writer who specializes in economics, finance, mathematics, business administration, computer hardware and software skills, and English grammar and composition. His extensive writings on the history of the English language appeared on About.com in the avatar of the Selig Wraith in the Medieval History Forum. Under the umbrella of Dark Wraith Publishing, he now writes on economics and politics as the Dark Wraith, serving as editor and publisher of this online magazine, The Dark Wraith Forums, as well as the group Weblogs Big Brass Blog and The UnCapitalist Journal, in addition to the blogScream News Wire service.